How Becoming Unemployable Fueled My Dreams and Transformed My Life

9 comments
An artist headshot of Elli Milan in her studio around 2009

It’s 2009, and the high towers of leverage over people all around me come crashing down. Every week, I hear one sad story after another of friends losing their jobs or their homes or their cars, scrounging for food at food pantries, and getting onto food stamps. Things feel very bleak. Everything feels unstable. I don't have a savings account anymore and live week to week hustling art anywhere I can.

There is no show, event, or opportunity that is beneath me, and we run from gig to gig trying to make enough to eat and keep the lights on. Between each gig, John has a garage sale where he magically can sell enough things to get grocery money for the next two weeks. I stay in the house and watch the kids. I feel embarrassed about selling kids’ clothes, toys, and knick-knacks for 50 cents or a dollar hoping it will all stack up to a grocery bill.

I used to be able to throw around hundreds of dollars and buy whatever without even thinking about it. Now, even just one dollar means something to me. Twenty of these means I can go to the farmers market down the street and buy fresh seasonal produce, a bag of beans, and a bag of rice that will last half a week.

I learned how to cook with very little and make things stretch. I learned how to make my own bread from wheat berries and turn $10 into eight loaves of bread that was hearty enough on its own. My friend had a mill where I would mill wheat to bake bread for the week. This bread and the stew I made from Safeway’s Wednesday meat sale sustained us through these times.

 The Search Begins

Elli and John's four children pose in front of several paintings around 2009

Finally, one day I couldn't take the constant uncertainty and daily striving, so I decided I would get a job. John and I had been owners of our own art business for the last 13 years. The last jobs we had were while we were in college, but I needed the certainty of money coming in again and thought any job at any pay would be better than garage sales and the odd sold painting. John could watch the kids and continue to sell art while I got a dumb job for a bit.

The last time I looked for a job, I would buy a newspaper, get a Sharpie pen, and circle the listings that seemed possible. This was no longer the case. I asked friends how people find jobs in 2009, and they said you either go to the company website, go in person and talk to the manager, or go to the local Queen Creek Neighborhood website where there were some job listings.

I felt enthusiastic and thought it might be fun to work in customer service or at a bank, or waitress again. My favorite dumb job I had was waiting tables. Time flew, it was good exercise, and I liked working for tips. Plus, tips meant daily cash, which could be put to use.

I began canvassing every restaurant within a 20-mile radius and within a week felt completely defeated. I went in before the 11 am lunch rush and after 2 pm to speak to the manager. Most of the time, I couldn't get in front of a manager because someone would wave me off saying they weren't hiring. Many of the managers told me they had over 500 applicants for just one wait position and I was wasting my time.

In my second week, I lowered my standards and contacted grocery stores, banks, insurance agencies, daycares, Walmart, and Blockbuster. I was not able to fill out even one application because each place told me the same thing: 300-1500 applications before me and I didn't have a chance. I tried really compelling arguments like, “How about you save yourself the trouble of sifting through all the applications and just hire me on the spot and be done with it.”

“Are you currently employed, and if not, when was your last job?” they asked.

“I own my own business with my husband, and he is running it while I seek employment,” I responded.

“So when and what was your last job?” They persisted.

“I worked for a company in Atlanta as a studio artist 13 years ago,” I said.

They responded with a hand in my face, scoffing and walking away.

 Beyond Checking Boxes

Elli and John pose in front of some of their work at an art show in 2009

It was Sunday night, and I was facing another week of hitting the streets looking for a job, knowing I had to beat out at least 500 other people with work history and references. I looked up Costco’s website and saw that they were hiring at a number of locations in my area. I saw that they had an online employment process, and it included an online test! I graduated high school Valedictorian and university magna cum laude. This was my lucky break! I knew how to ace tests. Maybe I would score so high I could beat out all the other applicants.

I eagerly sat at the computer filling out the application. I checked all the boxes, filled in all the blanks, and took the opportunity to fill in the “explain” sections to make up for my lack of work history and references. I couldn't remember any of the names of my previous bosses, and many of the places had gone out of business. I couldn't write in my previous boss at the art company because she was 100% crazy and who knows what she would have said about me.

Despite these challenges, I kept filling out the application. Then the test came. It notified me that it was timed. Like the ones at the DMV, it was also multiple-choice. I quickly read through the questions and answered them all in record time. I felt pretty great about the test and thought it was super easy. I was pretty sure I got 100%. I hit the results button and waited.

Once the results finished loading, I saw that I got a heart-wrenching 22% correct!

“What in the world?!” I thought. “I have never received this kind of test score. There must be some kind of mistake.”

I saw a button I could press that would show the correct answers. I clicked the button and began to read through the test.

Question #1: You hit traffic and you will be 15 minutes late.

a. Call your supervisor and let them know.

b. Continue to drive at normal speed and indicate your lateness on your time card.

c. Drive as fast as you can to get there on time.

d. Don't worry about this. Everyone is late sometimes.

I chose A, but the correct option was B. This didn't make sense to me. If I had an employee who was running late, I would want to know if they were still coming or if I had to cover their shift.

Question #2: You notice there is some liquid spilled on the floor near the produce. You:

A. notify your supervisor

B. Quickly get a mop and caution sign and take care of it

C. ignore it and continue to work. It will most likely dry up

D. Try to find the customer who made the mess.

I chose B because someone could slip and fall, so the spot needs to be cleaned as quickly as possible. I thought the caution sign would need to come out fast. The answer was A, which made no sense to me. In the time it took me to get the supervisor, I would have it taken care of.

As I skimmed through my answers and the answers to the test, I soon realized I was not cut from this cloth. I couldn't comprehend the reasoning behind the correct answers and still thought my answers were best. I thought back to when I worked at the bank and remembered how none of their logic made sense to me. I had to blindly follow the rules, never challenge anything, definitely not think for myself, and never, ever try to improve their system.

This was the moment I realized I would never work for anyone else again. I was completely unemployable! I had gone too far. I had seen too much. My mind could not be unwired and then rewired. I was an entrepreneur and a business owner. This was a huge turning point for me. I had a responsibility to never be in this position again because there was no plan B. A fallback option was not even possible even if I was willing.

Unemployable, Unstoppable

Elli holds a paintbrush and stands in front of a recent painting in her studio

Realizing I was unemployable has been the best thing to happen to my mindset. It has pushed me to dream bigger, reach higher, and work smarter.

As I rebuilt my business in 2009, I gave myself multiple streams of income. I diversified my offerings and therefore my market. I started building with 100% cash and avoided giving away pieces of my business to anyone else. I no longer abdicated power or knowledge to others and made sure I knew how to do everything myself first before I hired it out. I aimed to grow each year both financially and personally. I committed to reading books about business and strategy and learned from others who had succeeded further than me.

Becoming unemployable has been a huge blessing and one of the most important stepping stones in my business.

I hope that you also become unemployable in the pursuit of YOUR dreams, but that you get there by choice and not by force like I did. Let becoming unemployable be one of your goals, and create a strategy to get there! I believe in you! I know you can do it!

If you enjoyed this story and want to read more about my journey of becoming unemployable, with all its ups and downs, you're in luck because I wrote a whole book about it! Unemployable: The Odyssey of an Artist will inspire you to follow your own passions and conquer your dreams.

Share your story in the comments below!


9 comments


  • Nikki O’Neil

    This! This right here I have thought about for a year. I started the Mastery Program January 1 of this year, to say that I was boiling over in excitement was an understatement. For Christmas my husband had bought me a Coach purse and filled it with my very first set of oil paint. I was beyond excited. The February hit, everything was so uncertain. You see my husband and I own a construction company and this year was HARD. It took me from creating, and this was detrimental to my spirit. The year recovered in late August but it’s only now that I am able to really dive back into the MP. In this, I have learned that I have become unemployable. The drive and the passion to do what I know I was created for is stronger than ever. So as work slows down, I will not look for a side job, but utilize this time to become unemployable for even working for my husband in his company. Learning to work in a way that God has designed it, from a place of rest has been a game changer for me. Today is a good day to be alive as an artist. With the level of diversity of income streams and being so deeply connected to the world, how could I not respond with my passion for art? Thank you Elli for sharing, I know exactly of the moment you spoke about. I am in it now.
    ———
    Elli Milan Art replied:
    That’s incredible! You have definitely gone over the edge of unemployable! Once you pass through there is a point of no return. You know too much! Congratulations!!! 🙌🏽


  • Zahn

    I’ve done the same so many times, and yes, the world doesn’t make sense anymore. Silly Rules are meant to be kept but when it comes down to important values the lines are blurred. You can wiggle your way into positions becoming the boss’ best friend, you can step on others, gossip, make promises and not keep them. Moral values are down the drain as long as you recite them ever so often. You give me hope Eli, because in a few months I will also be unemployed. From March 2025 I will be without a job. I’m working hard at becoming totally unemployable now, setting myself up for success!!!
    ———
    Elli Milan Art replied:
    I love how you see what will happen in March as an opportunity!! Way to go!!!


  • Naomi Peace

    Lady, I absolutely admire your courage, determination and grit! You have written the permission slip for so many to live more authentically aligned lives…bravo!
    ———
    Elli Milan Art replied:
    Thank you!! That’s my hearts desire!


  • Michael Bradley

    Read most of your story. I don’t think I can say anything bad about your perseverance and dedication to your craft.
    A lot of people are afraid of the word unemployment because of the mental programming that was passed down to them from family members.
    I was homeless in 2018 and lived in my car for 18 months before moving into a homeless shelter by the middle of 2019.
    I never thought about what I was going through as something bad happened. I mentally knew that it was a temporary thing. I alone was responsible for my situation. I didn’t care about people or their feelings or anything else.
    I still drew just to stay sane.
    I signed up for your course in 2023 so you see, it hasn’t been that long since that happened.
    I’m a Veteran and I have issues so it’s very difficult for me to work for anyone.
    I don’t think anyone should be in charge of me.
    That alone keeps me humble.
    I do portraits on a regular basis.
    Have grown as an artist since your course.
    Still learning about myself though so someday I can say that I’m unemployable for the right reasons.
    Really appreciate your work and your story
    This is greatly appreciated.
    ———
    Elli Milan Art replied:
    I’m so sorry. We don’t have enough support for veterans. Many veterans suffer. I’m glad you got back to yourself and art has you anchored. All the best! You can absolutely achieve your dreams and the MP can get you there!


  • Popi Iatrou

    Love this! I am on that path. Thank you for your wisdom and tireless encouragement.
    ———
    Elli Milan Art replied:
    🙌🏽 yes!


Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published

This site is protected by hCaptcha and the hCaptcha Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.