Birthday Redemption and Finding My True Inheritance
Every year, I ask God for a birthday present. Each year, it is different. Some are big, and some are smaller, but each is distinctly poignant. On my 39th birthday, God gave me Beau, my first horse as an adult—a gift that changed the whole course of my life.
My love language is gifts. I love to get gifts and I love to give gifts, thanks to my dad. My dad always gave big, extravagant gifts, and he loved every minute of it. He could not wait for Christmas morning and hinted all month about what he was giving us, sending my mom into a complete tizzy.
The Boyfriend Test
![John Milan as a shirtless teenager making a silly face](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0588/9310/7349/files/IMG_2899_1024x1024.jpg?v=1708456519)
Unfortunately, John's love language is something different, and he has not quite gotten the hang of giving me gifts. I was so excited for our first Christmas and bought him a really nice blue indigo-dyed shirt that was around $80 in 1989. My brother followed in my dad's footsteps as I watched him spoil all his girlfriends with romantic and thoughtful gifts. I thought about what John would get me and how I would really know what kind of boyfriend he was based on the gift.
John handed me a used brown paper bag with my Christmas gift inside. I thought, "My God, where is the shiny red box and gold ribbon? And no red roses either?"
I handed him my neatly wrapped box with the shirt inside. He opened it and held it up to his chest and seemed to like it okay, but wasn't too exuberant. He was smiling and looked like her was excited for me to open mine.
I reached my hand inside the brown paper bag and felt a t-shirt material. I pulled out two black T-shirts and held them up to look. One was a Red Hot Chili Peppers men's concert shirt size large, and the other was a Cure concert shirt—again, men's size large. I was a bit in shock.
"You got me two men's T-shirts? I don't even like Red Hot Chili Peppers; you do. I also don't wear men's clothes or size large. Are these really for me?" I asked.
"You don't like them? They are so cool! Why don't you like them? Well, ok, I'll wear them, no problem."
And that was the Christmas John got three shirts.
After many years of bad and so-so gifts, I resigned myself to the fact that giving thoughtful gifts isn't John's thing. And that's okay. He has many other attributes that make up for it.
But in the moment, I was heartbroken.
Secrets, Confessions, and Hidden Gold
![Elli Milan lying on her horse Beau](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0588/9310/7349/files/IMG_0697_1_sq_1024x1024.jpg?v=1717552387)
On my 39th birthday, when I got my horse, Beau, my mom left for Montreal for a month to help my Greek aunt, who was having brain surgery for a tumor. The night before her surgery, she fessed up to my mom, "I don't want this on my conscience in case I die tomorrow, but I was supposed to give Elli her inheritance from my mother when she turned 18."
"What is it?" my mother asked.
"My mother saved British one-ounce gold coins her whole life and kept them in an Earl Grey tea can. She probably had at least 40 of them." My aunt came clean.
My mom and aunt made an agreement that once my aunt was well, she would go get my grandmother's coins from her safety deposit box and give them to my mom to give to me. A few weeks later, after a successful surgery, my mom asked my aunt about the coins.
"What gold coins? What are you talking about?"
"The gold coins your mother left Elli that you kept a secret for the last 25 years. You fessed up the night before your surgery. You said you didn't want to die with this on your conscience," my mother reminded her.
"I must have been out of my mind. That was probably the tumor talking. I don't know anything about gold coins." My aunt held her ground.
My dad remembers my grandmother getting the gold coins from my grandfather almost every birthday. He remembers seeing her tea tin full of coins. My grandfather outlived his wife and suffered the last few months of his life with colon cancer.
My aunt told my grandfather that she shared the news with my dad that he was dying of cancer but that my dad responded that he was too busy with work to come see him. She convinced my grandfather to change his will and leave all his book royalties, properties, and other assets to my aunt.
The truth is, no one, not even my aunt, told my dad that his father was dying. The moment he was told that his father had passed, he jumped on a plane and tried to make it to the funeral.
My father was robbed of his Greek inheritance, and so was I.
From Harmony to Heartache
![The silhouette of a man playing jazz saxophone](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0588/9310/7349/files/pexels-victorfreitas-733767_1_1024x1024.jpg?v=1717553112)
My 18th birthday fell on my high school graduation, and it was also when I should have received the gold coins according to my grandmother's wishes. For my birthday, my dad gave me a ruby and diamond ring that I loved and cherished. And for graduation, he gave me a saxophone. I was into jazz music and Miles Davis and talked about how cool it would be to learn the saxophone. Small mentions like this usually led to a related gift in the near future with my dad.
I brought my saxophone with me to college, and John picked it up and started playing it. He has a knack for playing any instrument decently without much practice. He started playing in our friend's band called the "Stretch Marks" and would come out midway through the concert for a quick solo and then disappear. Everyone loved it and waited for it because he would get really into it and just improv, occasionally resulting in a squeaky note. Everyone loved the raw freestyle playing that wasn't so professional and perfect.
Once the kids were all born and the saxophone had been collecting dust in a closet, I decided to give it to an older gentleman who shared with me his passion for the saxophone and told me that he missed playing but couldn't afford one. He lit up when I gave it to him, and it felt really good to give my graduation gift more purpose.
About a year later, I was talking with the carpenter who was building out my art studio, and he mentioned that he just sold a saxophone for $800 that a guy from his church gave him. I asked who gave it to him, and it turned out it was the same older man I gave my saxophone to.
I felt crushed. I found out who he sold it to and wanted to buy it back from him, thinking maybe I would save it for one of my kids. I tried tracking him down for months, but he never called me back.
My saxophone was lost forever.
Expectations and Restoration
![A pink greeting card inside of a gift box](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0588/9310/7349/files/pexels-anete-lusina-5722866_1_1024x1024.jpg?v=1717553112)
Now, here we are, three days before my 51st birthday, 33 years from my 18th when I got my ruby ring and my saxophone, and 12 years from when I got my horse and almost my inheritance back from Greece. John asks me, "What do you want for your birthday?"
Disappointed and irritated that he was asking me three days before my birthday and thinking I might get another men's shirt, I said, "Buy me gold. You can't go wrong with gold."
I wasn't actually expecting gold, but I thought there was a super slim chance that John would remember me showing him the beautiful things I wanted from the jewelry stores in St. Armand's Circle near where we live. I quickly gave up on that notion, realizing these types of thoughts and expectations only get me disappointed.
The night before my birthday, we went out to dinner at a mermaid-themed restaurant. John slipped a big birthday card over to me on the table and beamed with excitement. I lifted the card, which felt heavy. Far too heavy for just a card.
When I opened it, I found a large, shiny, one-ounce gold coin with an American eagle on it. I was ecstatic!
"You said to buy you gold," John said.
I loved it already, but the real gift came when Dimitra said, "Daddy! You gave her more than just a gold coin. It's like the return of her lost inheritance!"
Until then, none of us pieced together the stolen gold coins and this gift. I could see instantly this was my birthday gift from God this year. I felt so seen and known, including the ache in my heart.
For years, I have brought artists to Greece to restore the connection to the land of my father. I have invested years in learning Greek, and I hold the hope of owning property there one day. This coin represents the promise of restoration.
Another Gift from Heaven
The following day, on my actual birthday, John came home from the gym with a big black case. "What's that?" I asked.
"Your birthday present," John said with a big smile.
"What?! You already gave me an expensive gold coin! What did you do?" I said, excited. "Open the case," John tells me.
When I opened it, I could hardly believe what I was seeing. It was a shining gold saxophone! "John!!! No way! I don't believe it! How on earth could you remember this and think of such a thing? Where did you get it?!"
"It wasn't me. I didn't think of this or remember until my trainer said he was unloading his wife's saxophone and was selling it for $300. He had it right there at the gym! I knew this was for you!"
My True Inheritance
Every single birthday and Christmas and anniversary John had blown or forgotten in the past was nullified in this moment. I never could have thought of or anticipated such acutely thoughtful and profound gifts. They are the ultimate type of gift I love. I have spent hours thinking of the symbolism and possibilities of what it all means. It is redemption in every way.
I knew that this was God's sweet kiss to me. God is restoring all things stolen from me and bringing me into my full inheritance—one that cannot be spoiled, stolen, or lost. One that will transcend the generations and begin a new generational line that is clean and pure of all greed and deception. An inheritance that will serve and prosper others and ultimately expand and grow the heavenly kingdom.
I feel honored to take my part, and despite disappointments and trampled expectations, I eagerly await the years to come when what was taken comes back to me sevenfold.
What is the most meaningful gift you have ever received?
As always, thank you for sharing your story, Elli. My own birthday is coming up in a few weeks and I have been feeling so disappointed lately with some things in life. And I, too, never received my inheritance from my earthly father. Your words reminds me that our Father is faithful. “The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; Yes, I have a good inheritance.”
Psalms 16:6
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Elli Milan Art replied:
Yes Julia!! Our expectations in man fail, but God always comes through for us!
Ellie!!! That is such a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing this ❤️
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Elli Milan Art replied:
Thank you!
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